Brown-Bag Blues

Three years ago at our Annual Weekend After Groundhog's Day Sojourners Community Talent Show, one of our households portrayed a modern version of the parable of the Good Samaritan. The most-applauded character was the "Levite," dressed in our favorite-label jeans, shirt, and jacket.

Those of us who live in Christian communities like to think we were among the first to institutionalize blue jeans. They became a habit of sorts (a bad habit, some would say). They were functional for our way of life.

Little did we know what trend setters we really were--living "on the cutting edge," as some people were fond of telling us. Of course we were left in the dust with our generics and Western brands when Jordache and Sasson hit the scene.

Last week on the CBS Evening News, Dan Rather focused in on "A New Status Symbol" in America, rapidly becoming as popular as designer jeans. I humbly submit that we also had this one first: brown-bag lunches.

While others have been eating quiche and crepes at quaint little outdoor cafes in Georgetown, we, like many other low-to moderate-income Americans, have been carrying our lunches in brown paper bags for years. For more than a decade we've survived on the ubiquitous peanut butter and jelly sandwich (soybean spread when the price of peanuts skyrocketed). Now it seems it's quite the status thing among the upward bound to eat lunch in one's office out of a brown bag.

As I watched that last story on the news that night, many questions came to mind: How soon before the market is glutted with designer brown bags (the Calvin Klein coffee carrier/cottage cheese container)? How long before the rest of America moves forward and radical Christians are left holding the plain brown bag?

But more importantly, what will be the next trend we set? How soon before the rest of America acknowledges once again that we had the right idea all along? We're breaking new ground in all the areas that most affect our lives: food and fashion, transportation and technology, entertainment and education. Look for these new trends in the months ahead.

Popcorn parmesan

You've heard of veal parmesan and eggplant parmesan. Sojourners can often be seen eating popcorn sprinkled with parmesan cheese (particularly on Thursday nights during Hill Street Blues). We think this new taste sensation could revolutionize eating the way toaster pastries and stove-top stuffing did. For those with an eye for health, no need to worry about the hazardous effects of salt or cholesterol dangers of butter--and popcorn parmesan is a complete protein!

Check out the movie line for Gandhi at your local theater and find out how many radical Christians are smuggling in cans of parmesan cheese under their coats. This is just the beginning. By the year 2000 popcorn parmesan will be served at inclusive Italian restaurants everywhere.

Watches that only tell time

Be the first on your block to get one and help revive nostalgia. In true contemplative style, these Sojourners-style watches maintain silence at all times. They come complete with all these features: no milliseconds, no alarm, no built-in mini video game, no beep on the hour, not even room on the band for a miniature calendar.

Free designer birthday cakes

Many surprises can come your way when you open up a free food distribution center in your neighborhood. While picking up donations of milk, vegetables, and bread at local supermarkets, we've been given several unclaimed special-order cakes. Three days before Billy McLaughlin's birthday, we inherited a large white sheet cake that proclaimed, "Happy Birthday, Bill." A little tampering with food color and confectioner's sugar made it perfect for a surprise party.

This phenomenon has great potential, though it has its limitations. (We're still looking for a cake that says "Welcome to the world, Timothy Joseph" for the son born on February 11 to Billy and his wife, Lindsay, one of our associate editors.)

Time-dated cars

Rapidly becoming collector's items, we drive cars that hover around antique, but haven't quite arrived. Contrary to our watches, these cars do not maintain silence. Their most outstanding feature is that the movable parts (jacks, jumper cables, windshield scrapers) can easily be transferred to any other community car as long as you don't get caught. The only bad feature is that, well, there are those times when you're the one caught helpless in a blizzard with a flat tire and a dead battery.

First generic magazine

There are generic drugs, generic canned goods, why not a generic magazine? We plan on covering Sojourners with a plain white wrapper that says in black letters: "Monthly--$12 /year." We think subscriptions will pick up, on the chance that people think they're getting Sports Illustrated, Ladies' Home Journal, or The Other Side.

Joyce Hollyday was associate editor of Sojourners when this article appeared.